April's Miracle Of The Month

This month our Miracle of the Month is Crystal, she has an Awesome testamony to give. If you would like to be nominated to be next months Miracle of the Month please feel free to E-mail me at [email protected]. Happy Easter
A little bit about me.... My name is Crystal. I live in Southern California. I'm a tutor at a community college. I was given the gift of relatability when young (for survival I suppose), but now it has been increased by the true gift of teaching. I'm also involved in network marketting. I'm that detail-oriented, take charge kind... a constant source for prayer right there! LOL My hobbies include singing & karaoke, reading (anything to do with self-improvement/ leadership), going out with my friends, and playing games. My testimony.... My mother conceived me out of wedlock on purpose to keep her boyfriend (my dad) from breaking up with her. They married, but were separated by the time I was 6 months old. They divorced when I was 1 1/2 years old. She was hitting him all the time and cursing him, he wouldn't take it. Since only the mother got custody at that time, I went with my mother. Meanwhile, she made it clear I was unwanted and was only in her way of success. I was a lot like my dad so I was a constant reminder of what she felt was her failure. She wanted me to pick my own faith, so gave no more than lip service to God and Jesus. Dad converted to a Jew and remarried, so he was distant on visits because he was working a lot and his new wife didn't seem to like me around much. Mom remarried to an athiest, and in her growing disappointment with how her life was turning out, took out her frustration on me, brutally, every day for 6 years. She drank constantly, following in her mother's footsteps. Both my parents, and my step mom smoked. I never got the only thing I wanted, and I turned to 2 things to help me cope: food and sex. I found food helped because it changed my blood sugar (I am hyperglycemic) enough to calm me. (Now I also understand that eating was how I felt I received my mother's love... my mom used to bring home snacks when she worked at a cafeteria, and that was the ONLY time she showed me that she thought of me anytime in her day. When I ate them, I felt like I was consuming her affection, and I felt her love --the love I wanted from her-- flow through my body once it had been broken down.) I used sex to get boyfriends who would give me love and attention and touch. (Yet, it brought so many bad things to my life. My body is worn out, I had to go through surgery for an STD, I had 2 pregnancies that I had to abort, and I have an additional esteem problem because of the string of broken hearts I've endured). I left for my dad's house at 16, but didn't adjust well there, and so I moved out at 18. I never could seem to get my feet on the ground though, so I would constantly be moving in or out of his house. At 25, when I was flat broke because my car kept breaking down and again living at my dad's, I got a letter on my door from dad saying that I was irresponsible, a failure, and a loser. I left with nowhere to go, and went to my then-boyfriend's parent's house to visit. His mother, only knowing me for about 1 month, invited me into her home until I could find other arrangements... with no time limit and no rent requirement. Once I got away from dad, I realized why I felt so emotionally crippled... my father had never been able to open up to me for his own abuse as a child and in his first marriage, so he left me to my step-mom who was playing mind games with me. At that point, I had been watching a female televangelist called Joyce Meyer off and on for 3 or 4 years, because I liked her messages and her speaking (I was on the speech team in college when I first heard her). It wasn't long after leaving dad before I was saved (February 1998) when Joyce asked us to repeat a prayer to know Jesus in a more personal way. I figured... what do I have to lose? I had a broken down car, no money, a job I hated, no family of my own, and I was living with my boyfriend's parents fighting with the other children who thought I was a freeloader. What did I have to lose? I've never lost since. I have not spoken with my mother in 11 years or my father in 2 years though I've tried. I have forgiven them though and have been reconciled with a few other family members. In accepting God's Gift to the world and God's extreme love for ALL His children, I have received forgiveness from the Father for all the terrible things I did in pursuing attention & approval, that I did to myself and to everybody else I hurt, and most importantly for denying there was a God and denying His Gift Jesus. I washed all that away in the healing waters of baptism (August 1998). God loved me enough that He sent His Son to die for me, so I can enjoy life here and life after my earthly death. God certainly did not do all that for just me. He did it for you too. You can be freed from that trap you're in right now. God loves you. God wants you to be happy. Your life is going to go on with or without God, but with God you can finally rest from all that running, look up when you're walking and smile at people because you know you're loved, and know that you mean something to the most important person there ever was and ever will be. Pray with me now... God, I don't know what I'm doing or why I'm here, I don't even know that you're there, but I want to know. I want to mean something and do something meaningful with my life. So I'm asking you to help me. I understand that Jesus was sent to die for my sins. I understand that He lived to show me another way of life, that He died so I would have a choice in how I live, and that He came back from death to show me that I can do the same. I accept this and wish to know your love through this acceptance. Thank you, in Jesus' name. Amen. If you completely read that, and really believed it, then you are now saved. I know this is going to be difficult to do, but please find a church of Christ and ask for materials on what being saved means. You'll also want to get baptised as soon as you can, and God will instruct you soon to do that. You might or might not stay at that first church, that's okay either way. Open your heart to Him, as much as you can, because there is no greater love or feeling of acceptance than He can give. God loves you.
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